Sunday school teacher: Where does God live?
Timmy: In my bathroom!
Teacher: Why do you think that?
Timmy: Because every morning my dad comes down, bangs on the door and yells "God! Are you still in there?"

Daddy, Daddy, we almost lost Mommy today!
"How so?"
I heard mommy yelling, "Oh, God, I'm coming." I looked in your room & she had her feet in the air for the angels to grab, & if the mailman hadn't been holding her down, we'd have lost her for sure!

... Women who wear mini-skirts sure are cheeky folk.

Works for me! Except in Vancouver here there's a 50/50 chance of seeing balls hanging below the hemline if a mini skirt! (euuuggghhh!!!)

I did see a gal go by one time in the summer, with a skirt so short, I could see her meat curtains hanging below. Not as sexy as you might think, but interesting. . . She was pretty good looking, otherwise. . . I doubt she was even aware. . .

I've learned most women who show stuff (cheek, nip, etc) do so on purpose & are happy to get a complimentary(non-creepy) response. I first learned this from Dr. Isaac Asimov, & it's been true in my experience. I'm at that age where it's 50/50 whether my even looking or taking to these young ladies is "creepy."

Usually I do okay with my complements--wording them in such a way they feel unique & special ("just like everyone else!")

Tip: never tell a woman "That dress/shirt/pants looks nice on you"; always say, "You make that dress/skirt/pants/shirt look good!"

Not funny, but useful knowledge. . .okay funny time:

& 10 useful one-liner compliments:

1. YouÆre paws-itively amazing!
2. You light up the room like a chandelierùno need for electricity! 3. Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!
4. YouÆre so sweet, you could put HersheyÆs out of business! 5. If beauty were a crime, youÆd be serving a life sentence. 6. You must be a parking ticket, because youÆve got æFINEÆ written all over you!
7. Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in my future! 8. YouÆre like a cloudùwhen you disappear, the world is just a little less bright.
9. Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes. 10. YouÆre the reason I smile, even when IÆm not trying.

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-7
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

George Pope wrote to All <=-

I have to ask.

When someone in your family is in the hospital to give birth, does the rest of the family wait outside, looking at the hospital's chimney waiting for the white smoke?

That's supposed to designate a new Pope.

:)

... What are the instructions doing in the trash??
___ MultiMail/Linux v0.52

--- Mystic BBS/QWK v1.12 A49 2023/04/30 (Windows/64)
* Origin: JoesBBS.Com, Telnet:23 SSH:22 HTTP:80 (1:342/200)

George Pope wrote to All <=-

I have to ask.
When someone in your family is in the hospital to give birth, does the rest of
the family wait outside, looking at the hospital's chimney waiting for the white smoke?
That's supposed to designate a new Pope.

Nice one!

Yeah, but last time, the white smoke was coming out of my wife's ears because my son was HUUUGE!!


--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-7
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)