Do you know how Canada got its name?
The three guys who discovered it put some letters in a bag and decided to name the country after the letters they pulled out.
First guy: I got a "C", eh.
Second guy: I got an "N", eh.
Third guy: I got a "D", eh.
Or the the alternate idea which was that Canada was empty when the first
settlers arrived (or so they thought). So it was named: Can = container, nada
= nothing. Empty container. Sort of like a Doug and Bob Mackenzie show.

Of course, you do know the Bob & Doug McKenzie show was 100% American? It was on SCTV (Second City = Chicago)

The real, less funny reason for the name Canada is when explorers first met and talked with the Ojibwe Indians, they asked the local natives: "What is this place called" & the Indian answered "village"("kanata" which is the name of a village on that site in Ontario, still, just up or down the road from Adanac Canada backwards)

... You have two choices for dinner: Take it or Leave it.

I grew up like that & I turned out just fine -- but then we weren't primed to scream "abuse!" every time we didn't get our own way -- if we screamed at all, it was just to, essentially, request an arse-paddling, & then it was okay to cry, as we now had "something to cry about"

Not abuseat all -- good parenting & most of us learned how to behave in public including how not to become a criminal asshole. . .

Parenting through the ages:

(1)
"Hats off to the waiter that kept a straight face as my 5yo ordered the vagina for lunch instead of the lasagna."

(2)
Me: *on the toilet*
2yo: *banging on door* Daddy!! Daddy!!! DADDY!!!! Me: IÆm downstairs!
2yo: Oh... *runs off*
Me: Why have I not tried that before?

(3)
"Somehow IÆve lucked out and have an 8yo who thinks secretly reading under the covers past her bedtime is an act of rebellion, and it hasnÆt yet occurred to her that her flashlights never seem to run out of batteries."

(4)
Me: OMG WHAT THE HELL
Child: The news said itÆs more sanitary to sneeze into an elbow. Me: THEY MEAN YOUR OWN ELBOW

(FIN)


--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-7
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

I love the Miracle Whip commercials. This guy was talking to this woman
on the phone, as she was to come over for a visit. When he admitted "I'm
out of Miracle Whip"....<CLICK!>. <G>

Yup, & she immediately flew back home -- serves her right if she's lonely the rest of her life. If she loved him, she'd have replied, "No problem, dear, I'll run out & get another jar for us."

& if he was looking for a relationship & love more serious than a one night hook-up, he'd not be alone the next night or three or a lifetime.. .

Q: What did the vegan say when they ate a plant based chicken nugget?
A: No harm because no fowl

He was all clucked up.

When I have one of the kid helping me shop, as we pass the fake meat section, they always exclaim, "EWWW!" & we hurry past to the real food sections.

I keep it simple: God made X; Man made Y -- guess which I'm going with?

Sugar over aspartame every time without fail.

Did you ever see Jeff Dunham's feud with Peanut, where Peanut could not access their home wi-fi?? Search for "Jeff Dunham Peanut Password Panic"
on YouTube.

After my kids are up, so I cam put the speakers on. . . I might've seen it -- I've seen so many of theirs - I own a copy of every TV special they've done. Good stuff to put on auto-play every now & again. . .

My kids love the "Jingle Bomb" one--their first Christmas special (in Iraq)

Q: What's inside a chicken nugget?
A: Nug guts

Appetite killer. :P

Only after you've seen how they're made (a bubbling cauldron(vat) of all the bones & crap they couldn't cut into actual pieces of chicken to sell, plus whteverthey swept or mopped up off the floor, I suspect. Boil it until thick & gelatinous, then extrude onto a big pan piece by piece, to be air-fried, with oil liberally sprayed through the hot air as they tumble-cook.

I love that Discovery show, "How It's Made"

My toddler asked me to give her chicken nuggets a checkup. After giving
all the nuggets a medical exam I realized my toddler was asking for
ketchup.

Best thing to dip those in.

Eww, no thanks -- I only use ketchup a time or two a year to put 2 drops on my chapped egg on toast.

Best dip for nuggets, I find, is Big Mac sauce but only if I'm having a Big Mac, otherwise they charge me 40c for a 2oz container of "extra Big Mac sauce" to dip my nuggets in, even when I point out that this is my choice for dip, instead of their other ones. If a manager is on, & I got time, I'll get it approved asa no charge item.

For fries I like a wee tub of McChicken sauce (also 40c if not ordered a McChicken); but I can get as many little plastic tube things of the sauce for free, so i just ask for help to cut then open put them into a paper ketchup container(fee at the ketchup pump); for a large, i'll get 2 filled to the top, for yummiest fry enjoyment...

True story, as a young teen (15 or 16) I was travelling & in a McDonalds I knew I'd never see again (I've never even been in that town again in the 40+ years since!), I asked the pretty young thing at the cash register for a "fur burger
& a side of thighs, please."

She stared at me, stunned, for a minute, then ran into the back crying (WTF? Lil Miss Sensitive that day, apparently. A big dude came up & asked me what I'd said to her; I sad I simply asked for a fish burger & a side of fries, please. He looked me up & down then said, "Alright, but take your order to go & don't ever come back here again."

Apparently he believed her over this scuzzy looking long-haired punk in front of him & professionally dealt with the problem. Kudos to him, I say. He didn't get into a "he said, she said" type discussion, he simply fixed the issue.

I've never done that jape again. . .

The first time I did it, I wrote up my own order form at the A&W I had worked at prior to my brain putting me in the hospital for a half year; also requesting a fur burger & a side of thighs -- I saw the girls giggling while trying to decipher my handwriting. I ended up with a fish burger & fries in my bag. I still have no idea if they understood what I wrote & punnily responded, or that's just how they interpreted my handwriting. I never asked. The one girl on shift knew I liked her, even though she was nearly too young by a year or so(for my personal taste, not by law) but she was fun to flirt with when it was slow at the restaurant, because she turned such a pretty shade of pink, & flirted back with cute giggles. . .

After I left town to recuperate for a year, I lost track of everybody, as the restaurant closed and was seized for bankruptcy soon after I left.

Oh well, made new friends since then. . . worked other jobs, contracts, etc. Got new neighbours a few times as I tried to increase my comfort at home. (bigger units in better areas)

You know you're in a bad Chicago neighborhood, when you realize you have to go north to find a McDonalds or Starbucks that doesn't smell like a crack house.

You know you're in a bad neighbourhood when you hear weapons fire every night as you drift off to sleep. (heard twice via Modesto, CA)

You know you're in a bad neighbourhood when you turn on the light to see what the noise was & you see 14 cockroaches gang-raping a rat.

You know you're in a bad hotel when you call the front desk to say, "I got a leak in my sink" & they just say, "Go ahead!" (this has actually happened to me at a place I paid for 5 weeks ahead of time to stay -- I had a room on the 3rd flor, above, the lobby, so I was as far as possible from the booming nightclubs on either side of the lobby (strip joint on the one side a "Meat Market" (meet market) dance club on the other -- Of course, I could still hear the booming [c]rap music, but not so bad I couldn't sleep enough to be ready for my 15-hour workdays six days a week, then 10-1 more hours on my one day off.

Adaptability -- Proof we're humans & here to survive -- in it to win it! That's one of my philosophies towards life.

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-7
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

George Pope wrote to Dr. What <=-

Of course, you do know the Bob & Doug McKenzie show was 100% American?
It was on SCTV (Second City = Chicago)

Yes.

The rumor always was that Canada demanded that XX minutes of every show be "Pure Canadian Content" and that Bob and Doug were SCTV's answer to that. That's doesn't quite add up to me, but it's an fun rumor anyway.

The real, less funny reason for the name Canada is when explorers first met and talked with the Ojibwe Indians, they asked the local natives: "What is this place called" & the Indian answered "village"("kanata" which is the name of a village on that site in Ontario, still, just up
or down the road from Adanac Canada backwards)

But that explanation is less humorous than "I have a 'C', eh". :)

(2)
Me: *on the toilet*
2yo: *banging on door* Daddy!! Daddy!!! DADDY!!!! Me: I}m downstairs!
2yo: Oh... *runs off*
Me: Why have I not tried that before?

Sunday school teacher: Where does God live?
Timmy: In my bathroom!
Teacher: Why do you think that?
Timmy: Because every morning my dad comes down, bangs on the door and yells "God! Are you still in there?"


... Women who wear mini-skirts sure are cheeky folk.
=== MultiMail/Linux v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: *The Gate BBS*Shelby, NC USA*thegateb.synchro.net* (1:3634/27)

Sunday school teacher: Where does God live?
Timmy: In my bathroom!
Teacher: Why do you think that?
Timmy: Because every morning my dad comes down, bangs on the door and yells "God! Are you still in there?"

Daddy, Daddy, we almost lost Mommy today!
"How so?"
I heard mommy yelling, "Oh, God, I'm coming." I looked in your room & she had her feet in the air for the angels to grab, & if the mailman hadn't been holding her down, we'd have lost her for sure!

... Women who wear mini-skirts sure are cheeky folk.

Works for me! Except in Vancouver here there's a 50/50 chance of seeing balls hanging below the hemline if a mini skirt! (euuuggghhh!!!)

I did see a gal go by one time in the summer, with a skirt so short, I could see her meat curtains hanging below. Not as sexy as you might think, but interesting. . . She was pretty good looking, otherwise. . . I doubt she was even aware. . .

I've learned most women who show stuff (cheek, nip, etc) do so on purpose & are happy to get a complimentary(non-creepy) response. I first learned this from Dr. Isaac Asimov, & it's been true in my experience. I'm at that age where it's 50/50 whether my even looking or taking to these young ladies is "creepy."

Usually I do okay with my complements--wording them in such a way they feel unique & special ("just like everyone else!")

Tip: never tell a woman "That dress/shirt/pants looks nice on you"; always say, "You make that dress/skirt/pants/shirt look good!"

Not funny, but useful knowledge. . .okay funny time:

& 10 useful one-liner compliments:

1. YouÆre paws-itively amazing!
2. You light up the room like a chandelierùno need for electricity! 3. Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!
4. YouÆre so sweet, you could put HersheyÆs out of business! 5. If beauty were a crime, youÆd be serving a life sentence. 6. You must be a parking ticket, because youÆve got æFINEÆ written all over you!
7. Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in my future! 8. YouÆre like a cloudùwhen you disappear, the world is just a little less bright.
9. Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes. 10. YouÆre the reason I smile, even when IÆm not trying.

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-7
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

George Pope wrote to All <=-

I have to ask.

When someone in your family is in the hospital to give birth, does the rest of the family wait outside, looking at the hospital's chimney waiting for the white smoke?

That's supposed to designate a new Pope.

:)

... What are the instructions doing in the trash??
___ MultiMail/Linux v0.52

--- Mystic BBS/QWK v1.12 A49 2023/04/30 (Windows/64)
* Origin: JoesBBS.Com, Telnet:23 SSH:22 HTTP:80 (1:342/200)

George Pope wrote to All <=-

I have to ask.
When someone in your family is in the hospital to give birth, does the rest of
the family wait outside, looking at the hospital's chimney waiting for the white smoke?
That's supposed to designate a new Pope.

Nice one!

Yeah, but last time, the white smoke was coming out of my wife's ears because my son was HUUUGE!!


--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-7
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)