From George Pope@1:153/757 to All on Sun Jun 11 08:19:24 2023
Welcome to another edition of the Metric Dozen Punnies & Funnies, personally curated by yours truly, the Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM.
Please do comment as to which you loved & which you hated. . .
Also, at any time, let me know if you're done with receiving these. Because you're a mate, I won't even charge you my usual $19.00 cancelation fee! ;)
-= 1 =-
Heard on AM1060 Calgary Comedy Radio: Larry the Cable Guy was on a bus, went to the back to take a crap, & discovered there was no toilet paper, after he'd finished, so he went to the front of the bus & told the driver, "There ain't no toilet paper back there."
The driver replied, "There ain't no toilet on this bus!"
He was madder than an albino trying to hitchhike in a snowstorm.
-= 2 =-
Jeff Foxworthy on Calgary AM1060 24/7 comedy radio: "Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to gat a little bag of peanuts!"
-= 3 =-
I consulted my Psychic Gauze Pad about Trump's trial: "What will happen if he's found guilty?"
PG: On his first night, his giant cellmate will offer to show him why it's called 'The Pokey'"
-= 4 =-
If you rarely drive on snow, just pretend you're taking your grandma to church.
There's a platter ofbiscuits and two gallons of sweet tea in glass jars in the back seat. She's wearing a newdress and holding a crock pot full of gravy.
-= 5 =-
Q: how do you describe the process of a Buddhist converting to Confucianism? A: that' was Zen, this is Tao.
-= 6 =-
One I heard last night on "The Great American Joke Off":
Q: in the US, it's called an eggplant; what is it called in Canada? A: a chicken
-= 7 =-
Just being silly:
Q: Which 1970s' tv cop could deodorize a stinky room? A: Airwick Estrada
-= 8 =-
A old favourite ofmine from the early '90s:
In a recent magazine poll, readers established "waka" as the proper pronunciation for the angle-bracket characters < or >. The following poem appeared recently in the magazine.
The poem can only be appreciated by reading it aloud, as such:
Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash, Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash, Bang splat equal at dollar under-score, Percent splat waka waka tilde number four, Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash, Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH!
-= 9 =-
Every fight's a food fight when you're a cannibal
-= 10 =-
Time for me to write a dad joke, inspired by a recent dictionarycom contest's parameters:
Q: Why did the dictionary cross the road?
A: The chicken needed to clarify how a man could be laying bricks over there.
--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-6
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)
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