• Metric Dozen for 11-Junuary (not a typo)

    From George Pope@1:153/757 to All on Sun Jun 11 08:19:24 2023
    Welcome to another edition of the Metric Dozen Punnies & Funnies, personally curated by yours truly, the Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM.

    Please do comment as to which you loved & which you hated. . .

    Also, at any time, let me know if you're done with receiving these. Because you're a mate, I won't even charge you my usual $19.00 cancelation fee! ;)

    -= 1 =-
    Heard on AM1060 Calgary Comedy Radio: Larry the Cable Guy was on a bus, went to the back to take a crap, & discovered there was no toilet paper, after he'd finished, so he went to the front of the bus & told the driver, "There ain't no toilet paper back there."

    The driver replied, "There ain't no toilet on this bus!"

    He was madder than an albino trying to hitchhike in a snowstorm.

    -= 2 =-
    Jeff Foxworthy on Calgary AM1060 24/7 comedy radio: "Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to gat a little bag of peanuts!"

    -= 3 =-
    I consulted my Psychic Gauze Pad about Trump's trial: "What will happen if he's found guilty?"

    PG: On his first night, his giant cellmate will offer to show him why it's called 'The Pokey'"

    -= 4 =-
    If you rarely drive on snow, just pretend you're taking your grandma to church.

    There's a platter ofbiscuits and two gallons of sweet tea in glass jars in the back seat. She's wearing a newdress and holding a crock pot full of gravy.

    -= 5 =-
    Q: how do you describe the process of a Buddhist converting to Confucianism? A: that' was Zen, this is Tao.

    -= 6 =-
    One I heard last night on "The Great American Joke Off":

    Q: in the US, it's called an eggplant; what is it called in Canada? A: a chicken

    -= 7 =-
    Just being silly:

    Q: Which 1970s' tv cop could deodorize a stinky room? A: Airwick Estrada

    -= 8 =-
    A old favourite ofmine from the early '90s:

    In a recent magazine poll, readers established "waka" as the proper pronunciation for the angle-bracket characters < or >. The following poem appeared recently in the magazine.

    The text of the poem follows:

    < > ! * ' ' #
    ^ " ` $ $ -
    ! * = @ $ _
    % * < > ~ # 4
    & [ ] . . /
    | { , , SYSTEM HALTED

    The poem can only be appreciated by reading it aloud, as such:

    Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash, Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash, Bang splat equal at dollar under-score, Percent splat waka waka tilde number four, Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash, Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH!

    -= 9 =-
    Every fight's a food fight when you're a cannibal
    --Dmitri Martin
    -= 10 =-
    Time for me to write a dad joke, inspired by a recent dictionarycom contest's parameters:

    Q: Why did the dictionary cross the road?

    A: The chicken needed to clarify how a man could be laying bricks over there.

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-6
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)