• The Fat Bible

    From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to All on Sun Jun 25 00:06:56 2023
    And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower
    and spinach, green and yellow vegetable of all kinds, so
    Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

    And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth
    the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man,
    "You want fries with that?"

    And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.

    And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep
    her figure that man found so fair.

    And Satan brought forth chocolate. And woman gained pounds.

    And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

    And Satan brought forth ice cream. And woman gained pounds.

    And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and
    olive oil with which to cook them."

    And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed
    its own platter.

    And Man gained pounds and his bad cholesterol went through
    the roof.

    And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose
    those extra pounds.

    And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man
    would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and

    And Man gained pounds.

    And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."

    And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low
    in fat and brimming with nutrition.

    And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the
    starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And
    he created sour cream dip also.

    And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato
    chips swaddled in cholesterol.

    And Satan saw and said, "It is good."

    And Man went into cardiac arrest.

    And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

    And Satan created HMOs
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  • From Dallas Vinson@1:123/256 to Daryl Stout on Tue Jun 27 09:20:54 2023

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  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to Dallas Vinson on Wed Jun 28 05:43:00 2023


    Never!! But, after all, he is "the destroyer". Yet, the joke is that
    "if it tastes good, it's bad for you".

    I would love to be eating healthy salads every day, but it's so rare
    to find iceberg lettuce anymore. I can't chew or digest the romaine
    (never mind they've had several cases of e.coli contamination with it
    over the years).

    Plus, I'm seeing more and more food recalls, and food shortages. With
    being on a fixed income, I'm limited at what I can afford to purchase
    in groceries. And, with not driving or having a car anymore, because of
    medical issues, I get my groceries and medications delivered, doing all
    of that online.

    Back to the issue of taste...there's a joke where the schoolteacher
    was using the candy LifeSavers to teach kids the flavors and colors,
    such as:

    Red: Cherry
    Yellow: Lemon
    Green: Lime
    Orange: Orange
    Purple: Grape
    Light Brown: Honey

    The kids couldn't figure out what the honey flavor was...and when
    the teacher asked "What does your Mommy call your Daddy??"...this
    girl screamed "SPIT IT OUT!! THEY'RE @$$HOLES!!" <BG>.

    The teacher just sat down and cried. :P


    ... Hors De Ourves - Sandwiches cut into many small pieces.
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